Biographies
from
The History of Otsego County, New York
1740-1878
D. Hamilton Hurd
Published by Everts & Fariss, Philadelphia
STEWART, Alvin -
But of all the lawyers at the bar at the time we speak of, Alvan
STEWART was the most remarkable. He was not noted for his
ability as an elementary lawyer, but for his wit, drollery, and
ridicule.
Stewart was about six feet three inches in height; loosely made,
large bones, long arms, with large blue eyes, which he would roll
about upon the audience in a sort of stare; awkward in his movements
and careless in his dress. His very appearance would raise a laugh.
His powers of ridicule were beyond all conception. In an action
brought by Starkweather in favor of Swain Seward, against a man
by the name of Moore, Stewart appeared for the defendant. It
was an aggravated case of slander, and a respectable verdict ought
to have been rendered by the jury. Stewart had contrived to get the
fact out that Swain had dug for money in the Blenheim mountains,
and that he understood palmistry. Swain happened to sit directly in
front of Stewart while addressing the jury. After making a few
remarks applicable to the case, Stewart starts Swain off, with a
crowbar upon his shoulder and a hazel switch in his hand, for the
Blenheim mountains, to dig for hidden treasure in the bowels of the
earth. By and by there was a dip of the hazel switch, and Swain
laid down the switch and went to work with the crowbar. In the
mean time a storm had arisen, and it thundered and lightened, and
the stubborn oaks bent beneath the blast, but Swain kept at his work
with the crowbar, Stewart drawing back his long arms and imitating
the manner in which Swain was digging into the bowels of the earth.
By and by Swain hits the chest containing the treasure sought, and
he cries out "Eureka!" at the top of his voice, which made the whole
court-room, even the judge on the bench, start; and the instant of
time Swain struck the chest, the devil, his co-worker, seized hold
of the ring of the chest, and it went clink, clink, clink, into another
part of the mountain, and it was gone. Stewart was solemn and
grave during the whole time, and looked as though he had suddenly
appeared from the lower region. After breathing a while he proceeds,
"Gentlemen of the jury, that is Swain, sitting there," pointing to him;
"he understands palmistry. He can tell by the line in the hand now
many children your wife will have, how many of them will be boys,
and how many gals. He can tell you by this line in the hand whether
the oldest gal will marry a miller or a doctor, a clergyman or a tailor,
a tall man or a short man, a man with a broad-brimmed hat or a
narrow-brimmed hat." Every person in the court-house was in a
perfect roar of laughter, and the result was, a verdict of six cents.--
Excerpt from History of Otsego Co., NY, page 30